Thursday, February 23, 2012

I do...or I don't

The recent news about NFL quarterback, Jason Campbell, calling off his wedding last minute has been making head lines beyond the wedding and sports world.  I was interviewed by The Washington Post yesterday about similar situations that I have encountered with my couples in all the years I have planned weddings.  I am happy to say, that I have never had a wedding cancel when they were on the "1 yard line," like Campbell, but I have had nuptials called off.  Although it is embarrassing and the financial repercussions can be steep, it is ultimately the best decision to call it off 2 months before the wedding, rather than schedule appointments with family law attorneys 2 months after the wedding.

While being interviewed by the Post, I discussed my 2 theories as to why couples call off the wedding or file for divorce shortly after.  The wedding planning process is a special time.  As stressful as it can be, it is also fun and exciting.  Who does not want to try on beautiful couture gowns, get pampered by hair and makeup artists and taste delicious food?  Many times couples get caught up in the party and the day that they have dreamed of for so long.  Couples might want the wedding to happen so badly, that they ignore the gut feeling telling them to be a "runaway bride." Getting caught up in the whirlwind can happen easily and a bride can loose focus on what is really important: the marriage! 

Prenuptial agreements are the basis of my second theory.  They are not fun or glamorous and no one really wants to talk about them.  But in reality, they exist, and more so than people tend to think.  I believe that many of the weddings that don't happen or almost don't happen are because the prenuptial agreement was not given the proper attention.  If this is something that one or both of the parties need to have in place, it is best to deal with this item much, much sooner than later.  I recommend that the prenuptial agreement should be signed, sealed and delivered at least one month before the wedding day, if not before.  You do not want to leave this to the last minute, and have the entire wedding come down to the wire.  This can cause major stress if not taken care of early and can lead to unnecessary fighting and feelings that you
just want to call the whole thing off.

Sometimes, it is just not meant to be, and that is OK.  Although Jason Campbell is getting a ton of press, I have to admire he and his fiance.  At least they had the common sense (maybe a little late), to say this isn't right, and not make an enormous commitment that they could not keep.  I think that the guests would respect that decision and would appreciate not feeling like they were fooled when the couple files for divorce 72 days later....

Be sure to read what I had to say in The Washington Post!

{Photo Credit: The Wastetime Post}

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